Beauteous Beast
by K-YanNyako
Summary: A friendship gone wrong...or right? A day that was supposed to be with friends, turns out to what seems like a date. KakuzuXOC. R&R.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! This is K-YanNyako again! I hope you like this story! The idea kinda hit me after I watched the last half-hour of Edward Scissorhands…I intended this to be…emoer….but apparently, that didn't happen laughs I hope you guys like it!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the Akatsuki.**

Chaptire One: The Beauteous Beast

'Where am I...?'

'Is anyone there…?'

'Can you help me…?'

* * *

Katie awoke this morning, and sighed. Another dull day... Autumn was approaching quicker than she expected. Then again, she never did keep track of important dates on her calendar.

'Hidan's going to be elated once Halloween comes along…' she thought to herself.

She was ecstatic that today was Saturday. She had promised Sara that she'd go for a walk in the woods today. She quickly threw on a shirt and pants, not really caring about her looks. It was only Sara. She raced down the steps, and nearly tripped at who she saw waiting for her at the foot of the stairs.

"Oh!" she gasped. She nearly tripped and fell over herself. It was…Kakuzu? But why so early? And why her house?

"Er…ah…I…" she tried to find a greeting.

He was silent. He looked like he was glaring at her. Of that she wasn't sure. Maybe it was just because it was early. Hidan always said that Kakuzu wasn't a morning person.

"Um…sorry I look like shit. I was planning on talking a walk with Sara…these are just-"

"Your lazy clothes?" he asked quietly.

She nodded. She had the utmost impulse to run up the stairs and kill herself. How could she live with herself, knowing that her best friend (and crush) had seen her in her pajamas?

"Do mind if I go upstairs and kill myself?" she blurted out suddenly. Kakuzu's eyes opened wide. But his expression quickly faded into irritation.

"Great. Another masochist. I guess I should just jump on the mother fucking band wagon," he said as he raised his hands into the air. Katie felt horrible.

"Um…I meant…can I go upstairs and change my clothes…please?" she asked sheepishly.

"It's your house."

"You're my guest."

"So?"

"I hate to keep people waiting."

"…Touché."

She smiled triumphantly to herself as she ran quickly into her room.

She bombarded into her closet, and looked for some suitable clothing to wear, even though Kakuzu never complimented anything that she wore. None the less, she wanted to look…nice. If that's what you called it.

She finally found a skirt and shirt. She shed the clothes that she had previously worn, and replaced them with the new-found ones.

Just as quickly as she ran upstairs, she ran downstairs.

"Sorry…" she said as she looked for some shoes.

'Oh look…Vans' she thought to herself.

She slipped the shoes on, and faced Kakuzu.

"So…why are you here?" she asked. He looked nice today…his hair looked like he had just gotten out of the shower.

"You don't remember? Are you that dense?" he asked, nearly shouting.

"…I'm sorry…" she said as she dropped her gaze to the floor.

Kakuzu sighed and pinched his eyebrows together.

"Hidan, you and I were going to see that horror movie today." Kakuzu said.

"Oh yeah!" Katie said as it hit her.

"Oh…but Sara and I-"she began.

"You can call her." Kakuzu said, slightly irritated.

Katie quickly dialed the number, and told Sara.

"No, that's okay! We can always go another time." Sara assured Katie for the fiftieth time.

"Okay…are you sure?" Katie asked again.

"Go to the movie or I'll come over there and bore you to death with my tutoring skills." Sara threatened.

"Okay. Bye." Katie said as she hung up the phone.

"Where's Hidan?" Katie asked as she walked back to Kakuzu.

"He got sick, somehow…he said he had the flu or something…" Kakuzu said as he scratched the back of his head.

She felt her heart beat faster. Her. And Kakuzu. Alone. Together. In a car. And a movie theater. Playing a horror movie. She hated horror movies. This day couldn't get any worse, could it?

"Well, are you coming or not?" Kakuzu said.

Katie nodded and quickly walked out the door, and into the driveway.

She walked over to the passenger's side, but was surprised when Kakuzu had opened the door for her. She blushed slightly, and thanked him.

He started the car, and backed out of the driveway. It was an hour drive to the mall, and a half-an-hour wait for the movie to start once they got there. One and a half hours with Kakuzu. No Hidan to overshadow her actions. Needless to say, she felt absolutely naked.

They were on the road for ten minutes, when Katie started to feel nervous about the awkward silence.

"So…" she started. "How did Hidan catch the flu?" she asked, turning towards Kakuzu.

"I don't know…he was probably fooling around with Ateru yesterday." He said briefly.

No good. He didn't talk long.

"Um…how's your job?" she asked, the topics of conversation dwindling as they drove.

He looked at her for a moment, his facial expression almost saying, 'Don't even fucking start with me.'

"Oh…um…" she said. School! No…no one wants to talk about school on the weekends…

"Are you done with all of your homework?" Kakuzu asked, as if reading her mind.

"Um…I need help…"

"No kidding." She thought that she heard a teasing tone in his voice, but she wasn't sure of that.

"No!" she insisted, fretting. "I meant with that stupid math homework! Why do we always get the hard unit first?!" she yelled.

"So it seems easier once we get to the newer units…" he said, nearly inaudible.

'I can't last forty-five more minutes of this!' Katie panicked.

"Um! I…wanted to know if…you could help me go…clothes shopping…?" she remembered. Her wardrobe wasn't fit for the upcoming fall and winter seasons.

"Do I look like a fashonista to you?" he asked.

"No, but you do look sexy in those tight pants, though." She said in a flirty tone. She wasn't lying; just the absolute truth. For once.

"Gee, thanks…" he said in a sarcastic tone. He pulled at them. Apparently, that was his only pair of pants that weren't dirty.

"You know, I really wish they were tighter than that…" she thought out loud.

"Yeah, and I wish you wore a mini-mini-skirt to school everyday." He shot back.

"…At least I have the legs for a mini-mini-skirt…" she mumbled some-what.

"Are you saying that I have fat thighs?" he said, as if he was insulted.

"Fat thighs are a turn-on for me, so you don't have to worry about that." She said as she did the fakest yawn in the history of forever, and slid her hand around his shoulder.

"But you have seriously small boobs. Implants, baby, implants." He said as he moved one of his hands to his chest.

"At least I don't have man-boobs!" she yelled.

"You have man-boobs, you man." He said calmly.

"Leave my breasts alone!" she said as she turned defensively towards the window.

"I can't. They're just too cute."

"You pervert."

"And your ass!" he insisted.

"Oh, go fuck yourself!" she yelled.

"Not if you fuck me first."

"Believe me, I won't."

"You're such a liar. You get coal for Christmas. Or maybe just me, in your stocking. With no clothes on." Kakuzu said as he shook his head.

"WHO DIED AND NAMED YOU SANTA," she yelled.

"You did."

"Never. You're a liar and a pervert." She said angrily.

"What's so wrong with that?" he insisted.

"If you were ever faced with an opportunity, say, like this morning at my house, you could've pinned me to the floor and raped my brains out." Katie said as she turned towards him again.

"Hmm…not a bad idea…I think I'll put that on my To Do List, right under, take out the trash on Friday."

"I don't know why I insist on hanging out with you." She said as she folded her arms across her chest.

"You can't resist, and you know it." Kakuzu teased.

Katie was silent, and looked at the clock, and sighed mentally with relief.

'Yes! Ten more minutes, and we'll have witnesses if one of us tries to kill the other!'

* * *

Well guys and girls, that's it for now! I promise I'll have the second chapter up in no time! I hope you liked it!


	2. Chapter 2

Hello again, everyone! This is K-YanNyako! Again! Aren't you glad? Well, this is the second chapter of Beauteous Beast…I hoped you enjoyed the first chapter, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this right now, would you? Well, I hope you like this chapter, as well. By the way, XWeirdLover23X, you're a wicked sweet beast! Thanks for reviewing the day I published the first chapter!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Akatsuki, Hidan or Kakuzu. **

* * *

Chaptire Two: The Cornered Beast

'I can't face this problem alone, so could you... ?'

'There's a barrier, but it's not visible…I want it back…'

'Come back, brick wall…Please?'

"Five more minutes of torture…oops, did I say that out loud?" Katie said sarcastically.

"You want me to drive like a fucking old geezer?" Kakuzu asked angrily.

"Be my guest. Then I get to imagine you in uber tight pants." Katie smiled.

"You get to drive on the way back."

"Why?"

"Then I get to think about you in a mini-mini-mini skirt."

"You want to see me in one so bad, pick out my clothes for me." She said, hoping

secretly that he would.

"Gladly. Although, I don't think that they have a Victoria's Secret…" Kakuzu said as he thoughtfully scratched his chin.

"I hate you."

"I'm glad you said it."

"Oh, fuck you!" Katie yelled angrily. Kakuzu slammed the breaks on the car. He slowly turned his towards her.

"What did you say?" he said, angrily.

"I said, fuck you." She said as she stuck her tongue out at Kakuzu. He turned off the car, and grabbed Katie by the collar of her shirt. She flinched.

"Well, then. I sure as hell will, because you invited me into your pants." He said as he slammed her on the backseat. He crawled gracefully and stealthily into the back seat, and removed his shirt, revealing his bare chest. Katie turned a shade of red.

'I didn't mean it! I'm sorry, Kakuzu! I didn't mean to offend you!' she thought to herself.

He bent down, and pinned her against the back of the seat. He kissed her violently, biting her lips, not caring that she had her fingers digging into his back. He straddled her hips, and unzipped her coat quickly.

"No! Kakuzu, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-" she began. But her plead of apology was cut off by his lips; this time, more loving than the forcefulness of before.

'WHAAAAT?!'

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO RAPE ME!!" she yelled angrily.

"Me too," He said as he put his shirt back on. "But then I thought that it would be better if I kidnapped you…then I'd feel happier…" he said as he put his shirt back on. Katie was still shaken from what he was doing. And then a gentle kiss on the lips?? Was she still dreaming in bed?! If she was, then she'd want to have a 'nightmare,' so to speak.

She climbed slowly back into the passenger's seat, and buckled her seat belt.

"…Why'd you kiss me…gentler?" she asked quietly, almost to herself.

Kakuzu didn't answer. She didn't feel like asking again, but alas, her brain told her otherwise.

"Why'd you kiss me, Kakuzu?" she asked, a little more audible than before. She smacked a hand over her mouth. She'd torture her brain with extremely hard math problems later for that little outburst.

He looked over at her. She felt a wave of warmth rush over her face. She saw what looked like a gorgeous smile grace the lips of Kakuzu.

"I felt like practicing my acting for the school play. You know, we're doing Romeo and Juliet. You interested?" he asked sarcastically at the end.

"Oh yeah. Do they have a fucking scene? If they do, I'm totally in." she said, equally sarcastic.

Kakuzu started the car, and drove until he hit a red light in the next couple blocks.

Katie sighed and looked out the window. She utterly enjoyed the conversation she and Kakuzu had…and the little "act" Kakuzu had put on. She wished that she could do that with him more often…

"Hey. Katie, we're here." Kakuzu said as he nudged Katie's shoulder.

'Great,' Kakuzu thought. 'She's day-dreaming again…'

Katie imagined what it would've been like if Kakuzu had continued his little "act…"

The thought of it made shivers of terror, happiness, and utter excitement run up and down her spine. She felt like raping him herself, but he'd probably object to that idea.

'Damn it…' she thought. 'He's got my heart beating fast now…' she thought as she blushed.

"WOULD YOU JUST WAKE THE FUCK UP ALREADY?!" Kakuzu yelled as he forcefully turned Katie towards him. She blushed.

"God, finally!" Kakuzu said as he got out of the car and slammed the door. Katie expected for him to open the door for her again, but Kakuzu just waited outside.

"Did you glue your ass to the seat or something?! Hurry the hell up!" he yelled as he banged on the window.

'I hope this car window breaks…' Katie thought as she opened the door.

"Why didn't you open the door for me?" she asked quietly as they both approached the front doors.

"That counts as a P.D.A." Kakuzu said simply.

"P.D.A…? What's tha-" Katie thought out loud as she hit the glass door.

"You're such a klutz!" Kakuzu said as he covered his face in shame.

Regardless of the insult and running into a door, Katie felt insanely happy, and even a bit nervous that she got to spend the day with Kakuzu.

"First stop…?" Katie asked Kakuzu as she walked alongside of him.

"Victoria's Secret. We're getting you some lingerie, whether you like it or not." Kakuzu said as he directed her towards the south entrance of the mall.

"Oh you're hilarious, Kakuzu. Now let me go. I need some new shoes." Katie said as she remembered her poor old neglected Vans looked in the emo corner of her room.

Kakuzu took Katie's hand forcefully and led her towards the dreaded store.

"Nooooo! Kakuzu, no! I don't wanna go to that goddamn whore store!" Katie cried. She felt like she was being drafted for the war. Suddenly, she felt Kakuzu let go of her hand. Were they at the store already? Or was he being taken to mall jail because of some kind of abuse thing? Katie opened her eyes and saw Kakuzu…laughing?! This was a dream.

"A lot of the girls at our school go there to buy stuff, you know that?! A WHORE STORE! HA!" he snorted as he wiped away a tear in his eyes.

"I feel used…" Katie said as she felt her face turn bright red.

"That's not true. If you were used, you wouldn't be a virgin, now, would you?" Kakuzu breathed into her face as he caught her chin in his firm hand. Katie felt faint.

'I think I'm going to collapse from blood rushing to my head…!' Katie thought as she threw her arms around Kakuzu.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Kakuzu whispered angrily.

"Bl…blood….rushing to my head…too fast…I feel…limp…" she whispered.

Kakuzu turned his head away.

'This situation is too easy to manipulate…if she's like this, then I can just kiss her…' Kakuzu thought as he removed Katie from him.

"Great. Another shirt for the wood pile."

"What's wrong with that shirt, huh?!" Katie asked angrily as she stared up at Kakuzu.

"You touched it."

"So if I touch your face, will you have to burn that too? Oh wait! It's already scarred and ugly!" Katie said venomously. She felt a stake go through her heart as she said the last few words.

"Well at least I'm not an androphobe!" Kakuzu yelled in her face.

"I AM NOT AFRAID OF DEER!" Katie yelled.

"IT'S FEAR OF MEN, YOU DUMMY!" he yelled right back at her.

Katie scowled at him, and then a wicked thought crossed her mind.

'You think I'm afraid of men…? Well, I'll show you just how scary I can be…'

She caressed his cheek gently.

"Kakuzu…I'm so sorry…I didn't mean to yell…forgive me…?" she whispered quietly into his ear.

Kakuzu could have sworn that his face turned red.

"Whatever. Get offa me." He said as he pushed her off of him.

"To the shoe department!" Katie yelled. She sprinted into the direction of the eastern exit. Kakuzu didn't follow, but hesitated. He looked back at the Victoria's Secret store.

"…I'll get her something myself, then…" he said with vicious smile. He quickly walked into the store.

'Of course you know…this means war.' He thought as he passed women looking oddly at him.

* * *

Well, that's it! I hope you all liked the second chapter! I know it was long, so I hope you don't fall asleep while writing a review! I hope you liked it! :)


	3. Chapter 3

Hello again, everyone

Hello again, everyone! This is, yet, again, K-YanNyako! –smiles-

I hope you all enjoyed the second chapter, because this is the third one! Yaaay! -does a little dance- Well, thank you again, XWeirdLover23X, for reviewing! It makes me very happy that you demand more and that you like this story so much! And more thanks to KazeKagamikko, who also liked my story! Thank you both for reviewing!

* * *

'_A kiss in the dark is all I want…'_

'_Time passes too quickly for lovers like us…'_

'_Close your eyes and I'll be with you…'_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hidan, Kakuzu, Naruto, or the Akatsuki.**

**Chaptire 3: The Dreaming Beast**

Katie pranced merrily past flocks of people as she neared the shoe store. As she approached it, she turned around.

"Kakuzu, are you coming in with me…" she trailed off as she turned around. She looked around to see if Kakuzu was playing a joke. But she saw naught her lovely giant.

"Kakuzu….?" She called. She waited for an answer. Nothing.

'I knew it…I _knew_ this was a dream!' she screamed in her mind.

'I'm so _stupid_! Like Kakuzu would ever go to see a movie with _me_! I'm too fat and ugly and stupid! Fuck, I'm downright _repulsive_! He probably ditched me because he found a girl _way_ cuter than I am!' Katie thought as tears began to dampen her cheeks.

'I wonder when I'll wake up…' she thought as she walked into the shoe store mechanically. She passed every aisle, and found a bench. She sat down, and mentally sulked.

'Why do I feel so…_empty_? You don't feel this way in dreams…' she thought as she didn't bother to take notice of the figure standing behind her.

"Katie…" it breathed in her ear ever so seductively.

"OH MY GOD! A STALKER?! GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU SICK FREAK! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM ON SPEED DIAL!" she yelled as she stood up to face her so called, "stalker". Her eyes lit up, and her mood brightened.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??"

"KAKUZU! I LOVE YOU!" she nearly screamed as she hugged him tightly. Kakuzu's face turned red.

'She hugs…too…tight…' he thought.

"Get offa me…I leave for not even 10 minutes and you get all emo on me!"

"Well, you _were_ my way home."

"Were?"

"Excuse me. You _are_ my way home."

"Thank you."

"Grammar Nazi…" Katie muttered under her breath.

"Hey, Kakuzu…why's your face all red…?" Katie pondered.

"From….lack of….air…" Kakuzu made up a quick excuse.

"Are you holding your breath?"

"Who wants to know?"

"The midget."

"And that is…?" he asked impatiently.

"Me."

"WHY DO _YOU_ CARE?!" he bellowed.

"You look like a tomato convicted of murder."

"…Is it _that _obvious?" he asked quietly, almost as if to himself.

"Yes. More than you know." She said, just as quiet.

"You have sharp eyes…" he said.

"Nah. I just clean my eyes every day. With alcohol."

Kakuzu was silent.

"So I can notice your _every move_. And your _very _tight pants…" she said as she looked lustily at him.

'Another patient for the asylum. Poor guys.' He thought to himself.

"You're fucked up…" he said.

"Well, you're a chicken."

"Then you're a platypus!"

"Platypie are a thousand times better than stupid chickens!" Katie declared.

"And _how_ many times were you dropped on your head as an infant?"

"Hm…the last time I checked, it was fifteen." She said thoughtfully.

"FIFTEEN?!"

"Long story…hey, what time is it?" she asked, not wanting to get into details about the ice cream truck and ice ordeal.

Kakuzu rolled up his sleeve a little, and checked his watch.

"Who the hell wears _watches_ anymore?" she asked, almost sounding disgusted.

"Guys who wear sexy, tight pants." He said.

"We have to go. NOW." he said urgently.

"Why bother? I mean, it's not like the films gonna blow up or anything-"

"I SAID, WE'RE GOING NOW."

"Fine. Be a nerd. I'll meet you there- KAKUZU, PUT ME DOWN OR I'LL HAVE YOU ARRESTED FOR SEXUAL ASSULT!" Katie screamed.

'I'm so happy I could cry right now…' she thought.

In one swift movement, Kakuzu had slung Katie over his should. He took off in a run. Since Katie was still fantasizing about Kakuzu sweeping her off her feet, she didn't bother to notice her skirt upturning and revealing her mini-boxers.

"Oh, the stars are lovely." Kakuzu said, wondering if Katie could hear him.

"Hmm? Oh…thank you- _**WHAT**_?!" she screeched. She fixed her skirt. She felt as if she had been in one of those weird dreams where you come to school without pants on. Yeah. _Exactly_ like one of those dreams…She felt all the blood rush to her cheeks. Kakuzu had seen her underwear…isn't that like being naked in front of him?! No…then she wouldn't have her mini-boxers on…

'What if he thinks that I have a bubble butt?! Or what if he tells the whole school that I wear starred underwear?!' she kept coming up with questions. All of them concerning herself and Kakuzu. The loveless and the loved.

'I've _gotta_ stop reading my mom's romance novels…they're poisoning my brain…' she thought to herself. Kakuzu set her down as they reached the theater.

"What, no admission fee?"

"What? I'm paying for it."

"For the little ride."

"Since I saw your under garments, it's free of charge…" he said huskily. That made her shiver.

'Lucky me…' she thought in a daze.

"Go pick a seat. You can at least do _that _without getting lost, right?" he asked.

Katie growled silently.

"Hmph. Fine. I will. And I'll make sure that you won't find me." She said angrily. She stormed off into the theater, and slammed the door closed.

"Rassa frassin' Kakuzu…" she muttered angrily to herself. She picked a seat in the far back. Hers in the corner, and Kakuzu's...well, wherever he wanted to sit.

"_Wow_. All the way back here? Why's that? Do you think that you'll be getting a little _kiss_ or two if you get too _scared_?" Kakuzu said mockingly. Since the lights began to dim, Katie had the privledge of 'shush'ing Kakuzu.

"Don't you 'shush' me! I'll kill you!" he threatened. Katie laughed quietly.

"Idle threats, Kakuzu. Idle threats. Besides, you don't have the _guts_." She said. The opening credits began, and Kakuzu was already fuming.

'No guts, eh? I'll show you _guts_, girly…' he thought. Since Kakuzu had sat next to Katie, he slammed his hands on either side of the wall near her head. She turned her head at the abrupt sound.

"Real cute, Kakuzu." She said, unamused by his gesture. "Now, move your arms. I can't see the blood and guts fest that you paid for."

"Oh, shut the _fuck_ up!" he yelled. Thankfully, the killer's chainsaw was louder than Kakuzu's angry outburst.

"Shut up and let me watch this mo-"she was cut off by Kakuzu's lips pressuring themselves against hers.

'Absolute heaven…' she thought as her eyes instinctively closed. 'Dreams are such…lovely, happy things…' When Katie tried to pull away for air, Kakuzu deepened the kiss.

'LEMME GO! I DON'T WANNA DIE! Then again….I'd die a happy girl…' Katie thought as she went lightheaded. Then, Kakuzu broke away, gasping for air.

'Well, fuck. There goes my deathwish.'

"Now…" Kakuzu said. "Who's got guts?"

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Well, ladies and gents, that's it until the fourth chapter! I hope you enjoyed it!

K-Yan ;D


	4. Chapter 4

Hello again, everyone! This is K-YanNyako! It seems so long since I've updated this story! D: Oh noes! Well, I guess it's because I had like a million projects to do, but the major ones are done. For now, I guess. Well, what you've all been waiting for! The fourth chapter of **Beautious Beast**! I hope you like it!

Well, here it is!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Akatsuki, Kakuzu, or Hidan.**

'_Love is like a war: easy to begin, hard to end.' – Proverb_

'_Our hands are intertwined, and our hearts are a whole.'_

'_Hesitation is a lovers' worst enemy…'_

**Chaptire 4: The Doubtful Beast**

Katie couldn't stomach sitting in front of this…this…utterly _repulsive_ film! She was completely terrified of horror movies. They always killed all of the characters in the end, which always made her think that she was going to die after an hour or so, when she was alone in a dark room. Sitting next to Kakuzu was just didn't make it any worse. Oh, fuck it. She was just plain miserable. What do _regular _people do when they're on a _regular_ date, _especially_ if they're watching a scary movie? They _hold hands_. But this was no regular date. It was a God-given miracle from the heavens up above. If only Kakuzu wasn't such a _fuck_, then it'd be an _immaculate _date. But alas, Katie's luck had just about left the building for the day. Kakuzu was _more_ than likely waiting for her to run out of the theater screaming. Katie most_ certainly_ would not do that….

Yet.

The irony about the whole thing was that Kakuzu was about ready to pee his pants from laughing, while Katie was about ready to do just the opposite; lose bladder control from being frightened.

'Kakuzu may not be on board the masochist train, but it's a sure _fuck _that he's conducting the sadism train.' Katie thought to herself. The good thing about her being scared was that she kept her thoughts to herself. Most of the time.

"How do you like the movie?" Kakuzu managed to ask in between his outbursts of laughter.

"I FUCKING WANNA GET OUTTA HERE!" she said. Not really. What she really said was,

"I…I l-love it! Ha ha ha…the…violence is the b-best…p-part…ha ha…" she said nervously.

'Damn it! I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER SECOND OF THIS FUCKING MOVIE! How do I keep still…? Kakuzu _hates_ it when someone bites their nails because it wastes time, and time is money…the only other solution would be…'

"_No fucking_ way." She said inaudibly.

'I _refuse_ to stoop to such a low level of etiquette-HOLY SHIT THAT GUY JUST GOT SLICED UP THE MIDDLE?!' she thought frantically as he reflexes took over. She grabbed Kakuzu's hand. She braced herself for a smack on the arm, maybe even a slap across the face, but what she got was…_completely the opposite_. She opened her eyes. He was laughing.

"K…Kakuzu…?" Katie said feebly.

"What?!" he said angrily, his laughing stopping abruptly.

"Er…um…my…hand…" she managed to say.

"Yeah, what about it?" he answered impatiently. He looked down at his hands, and some-what gasped under his breath. He quickly slapped her hand away from his, and faced the screen.

'He reminds me of my little bratty cousin when I don't push him on the swings…' Katie thought as she got up to get a soda. Who knew that screaming your head off could make you thirsty? Kakuzu saw Katie get out of her seat, and blocked the row with his legs.

"And where do you think _you're_ going, young lady? Oh, excuse me, I'm not politically correct; where are you going, young _man_?" Kakuzu asked.

"You'd like it if I was a man…" Katie said under her breath.

"Huh? What'd you say, punk?" he said, raising his voice a little.

"I'm going to get a drink."

"No you're not. Just sit down and swallow your spit. That doesn't cost money."

"What if I get dehydrated?"

"That's _your_ fault, not mine."

"Whatever. I'm getting a soda." Katie said monotonously as she inched towards the end of the row.

"No, you're not!" Kakuzu said under his breath.

If someone pulled you on their lap to stop you from wasting your money on a soda, would you consider that deed selfish? Katie did. Kakuzu could careless, obviously. He had pulled her on top on him in an effort to stop her from buying a soda. Needless to say, it sure as hell worked.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" Katie whispered, trying to control the volume of her voice.

"Stopping you from buying a soda. There ain't an ice cubes' chance in _hell_ that I'm going to let you buy a soda. You're going to sit here."

"Ain't ain't a word, dumbass."

"You just used it. Twice. So you're twice the dumbass that I supposedly am."

"Nuh uh."

"Shut the hell up."

"Not until you let me outta this seat." Katie said.

Kakuzu pulled her close so that their lips were only a few inches apart.

"Now," he breathed into her ear. "Are you staying here, or getting a soda?"

Katie shivered.

"...Here…"

"What's that?"

"Ge…Getting out of here to get…a soda…" she said.

Someone in the audience screamed, and Katie jumped, and wrapped her arms around Kakuzu's torso.

"Ah…um…er..." she muttered incoherently.

Kakuzu smiled to himself. He brushed his hand gently against Katie's face.

"You know, you're a little heavy." He said as he twirled her hair.

"Katie?" Kakuzu asked.

'Hmph.' He thought disappointedly.

'She fainted.'

"Oh well. Somehow I feel…comforta- what the fuck?! Did I almost say what I think I was going to say?!" he yelled.

Katie clenched Kakuzu's jacket.

"Heh. She's too…cute…." He said the last word under his breath as he kissed her head.

"Hey, Sleeping Ugly. Open your eyes." Kakuzu grumbled angrily. Katie opened her eyes slowly.

"Nngh…? What happened?" she asked quietly.

"Well, you were mauled, raped, and…I _guess_ that was it. Oh yeah, they took a lock of your hair and said that they were going to mount it in their Katie shrine."

"**WHAT?! WHO?!**" she screeched. Kakuzu abstained from laughing.

"Me."

"**WHAT?!**"

"I'M ONLY KIDDING, IDIOT! NOW GET OFFA ME!" Kakuzu yelled.

"Aw, and I was having so much fun, too." She said.

Kakuzu walked out of the aisle and out the doors, with Katie at his side.

"I need to buy socks." She said bluntly.

"Fine. We'll go." Kakuzu said impatiently.

Katie followed Kakuzu obediently to desired store.

"_Well_?" Kakuzu asked angrily as they stood outside of the store.

"Well, _what_? I'm going in." she said as she walked in. Kakuzu followed her.

"Welcome to Sock 'R Us!" said the cashier.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious…" Kakuzu said as he followed Katie into an aisle. Kakuzu bumped into Katie.

"Why _hell_ did you stop walking?" he asked impatiently. Katie glared at him.

"_What_?!" he said, trying to keep his voice down.

"Only _women_ are allowed in this section."

"_What_?"

"Because, _Einstein_, everyone knows that once you take your sock off, your foot is…no longer clothed…" she half-mumbled-half-said.

"What the fuck are you getting at?!" he demanded.

"It means that your foot is naked!" she yelled. Kakuzu sighed heavily.

"The same concepts that apply to humans don't apply to feet."

"GOD DAMN IT, THEY DO SO!" she yelled. Katie felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around and saw a cashier.

"Ma'am…" she began.

"How the _hell_ do you get _thrown out_ of a _fucking sock store_?!" Kakuzu raved as they made their way to the food court.

"I don't know. The lady said that I was being too loud or what I said wasn't appropriate because there were little kids around…something along the lines of that." Katie mumbled.

"Well, it's getting dark out." Kakuzu said.

"So?" Katie asked.

"If you're out too late, your parents might get suspicious, and they might ask questions…"

"About what?"

"If you were out late…with a guy…"

"What?"

"They won't think you're…_PURE_ anymore…"

"_Pure_?"

"A _VIRGIN_."

"Kakuzu, you're disgusting. Utterly _repulsive_." Katie said.

"Well you're slow. Repulsive is better than slow."

"Nuh uh."

"Yeah, it is."

Suddenly, there was an abrupt growl.

"AIEEEE!" Katie screeched.

"_SHUT THE HELL UP, IT'S YOUR FUCKING STOMACH_. God, you're such a moron." Kakuzu said angrily.

"Hmm…I am a _little_ hungry…" Katie began.

"A _little_ hungry?! Your stomach could've been mistaken as the Shot Heard Around the World!" Kakuzu rebuked.

"Well, fine. Since you're on the topic of old world American history, where shall we go to eat, Meriwether?" Katie asked sarcastically.

"To the horse and carriage. I'm not eating mall food. We're going to a restaurant, and _you're _paying, obviously." He said as he walked towards the door. Katie stood still, frozen in place by Kakuzu's words.

'First, the movies…now, a restaurant? Oh, God…is this really turning into…' she thought.

"A DATE?!" she nearly yelled.

"Ha ha ha…no, that's stupid. Why would he go on a date with me?"

"You're right. Now move along, Little Turtle." Kakuzu said as he pushed her towards the door.

"No way could this be a date." Katie said coldly and confidently. But somewhere in the pit of her stomach, she thought differently.

Well, that's it! D: Sorry this chapter took uber long. I think that this one was a lot longer than the other three. What do you guys think? X3 I hope you like it! I didn't think that this chapter was as funny as the others. Tell me what you guys think!! Thanks for reading! Have a Merry Christmas!

_A big thanks to XWeirdLover23X, KikaiKagami, Tally Mai-chan, Nisroc, TechnoTobi, and Siyui no Akatsuki for reviewing! _


	5. Chapter 5

Hello again, everyone! This is K-YanNyako!! x333 I'm sorry that this chapter took really long. I keep writing manuscripts for everything, when what I really should be doing is just typing. So, here it is, no manuscript what-so-ever; chapter five of **Beautious Beast**. I hope you enjoy it! x3333

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Akatsuki, Kakuzu or Hidan.

**Chaptire 5: The Impetuous Beast**

Katie was two times as tense as she was in the movie theater. She felt uneasy and uncomfortable near Kakuzu. She was deep in thought, so she didn't notice the group of teenage boys in front of her.

"Ow! Geez, you fucking bitch, watch where you're going, God!" The boy yelled at her.

"Oh…um…sorry." She said as she hurried along. One of the boys grabbed her arm.

"Hey, cutie, where're you going in such a hurry? Come with us. We'll treat you good." He said slyly. She felt someone else grab her arm.

"Leave my girlfriend alone, you ungrateful bitches." Kakuzu said with a straight face. The boys ran away.

"THAT GUY'S REALLY TALL."

"I KNOW. I WONDER HOW SHE FEELS WHEN HE FUCKS HER!" the other boy that had grabbed Katie's arm yelled. Katie turned red.

"Dumb asses. They're probably gay if they hit on you." Kakuzu said as they began walking to the car again.

"Shut up. I hate you so much." Katie said as she stomped ahead of him.

"I just want to go home." She said as she slammed his car door. She buckled her seat belt. Kakuzu opened his door, and slammed his. Instead of sitting down, he straddled her hips.

"You slammed my car door." He breathed in her ear. Katie felt her face turn red again.

"Well? Are you going to apologize, or do I have to use _force_?" he asked.

'USE FORCE. I FUCKING LOVE FORCE!' her hormonal mind screamed.

"Well?" he asked. He began to unzip her jacket.

"Nnn…"

"Is that a no?"

"No…" she said.

"So you're going to apologize?" he asked.

"Y…yes. I'm sorry." Katie blurted out.

"Ooh baby. That sure did the trick. My acting skills are getting better and better." Kakuzu said as he smiled to himself.

"Zipper your jacket back up. It's cold."

"So?"

"I'm not wasting money on gas."

"So you're going to start riding a bike then? Yeah, that REALLY turns me on." Katie said as she zipped her coat.

"Shut up. You know what I mean." He said as he started the engine.

"I don't think I do. Care to explain?" She asked. Kakuzu shook his head.

"You're so slow. It's too funny." He said.

"I bet you wouldn't even know if a guy was hitting on you." He said. She looked out the window.

"Why should I care? Love is stupid anyway when the person you're willing to give your heart to doesn't want it anyway." She said.  
Then silence.

Katie shut her eyes. Just for a little while. Besides, the nearest restaurant was too far away…

When she woke up, she had the stale and dry taste in her mouth one gets after sleeping.

"Blegh. I think my mouth was open when I took that nap."

"God, I was wondering when you'd wake up. We've been at your house for the past hour now."

"AN HOUR?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME WHILE I WAS SLEEPING?!?!" She screeched. Kakuzu smiled to himself.

'Here comes the fun part.' He thought.

"Well, the pregnancy test will have the answer to that." He said as he got up from the couch he was sitting on.

"**WHAT**?!!?" Katie yelled. She felt the blood rush to her face. What if she really was pregnant?! Her mother and father would disown her, and she'd be shunned at school. She would be looked upon as a 'ho', 'whore', 'hooker', the names could go on and on.

"I'm kidding. Here. I got food while you were sleeping." He said. He had Chinese food on a paper plate in his hand. He set it down in her lap. Katie felt her mouth water.

"It's a shame, though." Kakuzu said as he sat on the floor.

"What's a shame?" Katie asked as she went to get a fork.

"You looked so cute while you were sleeping. Now you just look the same. Creepy as you always are." Kakuzu said as he ate his rice.

Katie decided to keep her mouth shut about her looks. Instead, she got on another subject. One that she thought was suitable.

"You know, I can always kick you out of here. This is my house." she said sweetly as she sat back down.

"Basically, this is like a palace, and I'm the empress. You must do as I command." She said as she pointed her fork at Kakuzu.

"Pfft. What are you gonna do? Make me clean your room?" Kakuzu asked sarcastically. Then, Katie did something without thinking of the consequences. She got up, and sat her plate down. She walked gracefully over to Kakuzu, sat on his lap, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Not really. I was thinking along the lines of…make sure that you take your shoes off when you come in next time." She said as she unlaced Kakuzu's shoes and threw them in front of the door.

"And your shirt is gray. When was the last time you washed that thing?" she asked as she pulled it off of him, leaving his bear chest. He was very muscular, but that didn't really bother Katie now. She was capitalizing her feminine wiles to Kakuzu's disadvantage. Kakuzu turned red.

"Gimme back my shirt, you nag." He said angrily as he snatched his shirt from her grasp.

"Ah ah ah. You must say please first." She said as she brought her face close to his. Kakuzu was fighting the urge to kiss her now.

"…P…Ple…" He tried to sound out the word.

"That's it." She said as a smile crossed her face.

"Please…..?" He choked out.

"HA! I MADE YOU SAY PLEASE!" Katie shouted in triumph.

"Bitch."

"Ho, please." Katie said as she gave Kakuzu the 'talk-to-the-hand' pose.

"You're so stupid, you know that?" He said.

"Ah, but YOU, my freak, are dumber." Katie said, emphasizing the silent 'b' in dumb.

"You said dumb." He said as he pushed her off of him.

"I hate you."

"I hate you more."

"Liar, liar, pants on fire." Katie said as she pointed to his pants. Kakuzu smiled to himself.

"Soooo, you want me to take my pants, off, ehhhhh?" He said in a loud, obnoxious voice.

Katie was silent. She nearly screamed as Kakuzu began to unbutton his pants.

"I'M CALLING THE POLICE!" She yelled as she ran to the phone.

"Oh, please." Kakuzu said as he truly took off his pants. He threw them across the room. He tackled Katie to the floor, and shouted,

"IT'S NOT RAPE, IT'S SURPRISE SEX, BABY!" He yelled as he took off her shirt.

"KAKUZU, STOP!" She screamed. He smiled.

"I was only kidding." He said as he began to get off of her.

She grabbed his shoulder.

"Are you sure you don't want surprise sex?" She asked with a smile.

Kakuzu paused.

"HOT DAMN I DO. GET ON THE FLO', HO!" He commanded.

"As you wish." She said with a smile.

He straddled her hips, and kissed her.

"I really hope you're joking." Katie said as she stroked his face.

"I am." He said as he got off of her.

"You're an idiot to think I would fuck you." Katie said.

"Oh please. I'd fuck me _any_ day." Kakuzu said.

"But you already do! HA HA!" She laughed at him.

An awkward silence quieted them for a few moments.

"So, is this the only thing we're going to do for the rest of the day?" She asked as she sat back down.

"I guess so."

"Well, then I guess I'll see you the next time Hidan, you, and I want to go see a horror movie." She said as she began to eat her Chinese food.

"Actually…" Kakuzu began as he put his pants back on.

"I wanted to know if you were free tomorrow afternoon." He said as he caught her face in his hands. Katie had no choice but to look Kakuzu right in the eyes.

"Uh…um…Not…that I know of…" She said.

"Alright. I'll be here at noon. Dress in your play clothes." He said. She looked at him with wide eyes.

"NOT THOSE PLAY CLOTHES, I MEAN CASUAL CLOTHES." He yelled.

"Where are we going to go?" She asked.

"It's a surprise."

"Damn you."

"Just be awake by tomorrow. And don't be suicidal like you were this morning." He joked.

He put his shirt back on and his jacket, as well as his shoes, and walked out the door.

Katie ran up to her room, and fell on her bed in a fetal position.

"Did…Kakuzu…just ask me out….ON A DATE?!?!" She screamed.

"He did….He did…HE DID, HE DID, HE DID, _HE DID_!" She screamed happily.

"I should plan now!" She declared to the air particles surrounding her. At least _they_ listened.

She thrust open the doors in her closet, and started looking for something nice to wear.

"No…not jeans…not a dress, definately not a dress…a skirt like today? Hm…" She said as she held it up to her waist as she looked in the mirror.

"It looks good!" She said to herself. She picked out a matching top, and sat the outfit on her dresser. She sat down on her bed, and felt something under her leg.

"Eh? What's this?" She asked herself as she lifted up her covers. She screamed.

"KAKUZU, I KNEW YOU DID SOMETHING."

Kakuzu had snuck the lingerie set under her covers. It was semi-see-through with black lace. That bastard. There was a note in the bag as well. It said:

'Wear this tomorrow.'

"I hate you so much Kakuzu." She said as she tried on the lingerie.

….Well. It was terrible, wasn't it? D: I apologize for making you read such rubbish. xDD But I hoped you liked it, regardless. The next chapter is on the way! I just need to pick a title. ; - ;

_Many thanks to XWeirdLover23X, KikaiKagami, Tally Mai-chan, Nisroc, TechnoTobi, and Siyui no Akatsuki for reviewing! I'm so glad that you liked it! _


	6. Chapter 6

Hello everyone! This is K-YanNyako again! I can't believe I'm on the 6th chapter! I'm glad you guys like it. I always look forward to everyone's reviews, they really make my day when I read them. :) I keep looking for words that can describe the chapter in a brief not-even-sentence. So, here it is. The sixth chapter. Wheeee~ P.S. I noticed that I haven't been writing those little snippets at the beginning of the chapters. Sorryyy! D: I'll try my best to put those in every chapter, I promise!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Akatsuki, Hidan, or Kakuzu.

**Chapter Six: The Amateur Beast**

_'I'm new to this 'love' business, so, I was thinking...could you help me so I can figure it out?'_

_  
'I have absolutely no clue about how to handle something like this! I though everything came with a manual!'_

Katie had called Sara earlier that day, telling her the good news.

'_He asked me out on a date! HE ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE!' She had screamed into the receiver._

'_Great. Now all I need is a hearing aid, and we'll all die happy.' She said._

'_What should I do?! I've never been on a date before!' She had panicked._

'_Just act natural. Don't try too hard. Just be yourself.' Sara had said wisely._

'_Thank you so much, Sara!' She had said as she hung up._

Now, she lay in bed, at 10:30 at night, planning her dialogue for tomorrow.

"Yes, Kakuzu, I'd _love_ to hold your hand. No…wait, Kakuzu would never ask to hold my hand…in fact, he never asks anything." She said as she thought of something Kakuzu would say.

"…Yes, Kakuzu, I did wear that shitty lingerie that you bought me. What do you think I am, some kind of whore?!" She yelled at her ceiling.

"MOOOOOM, KATIE'S YELLING AT HERSELF AGAIN!" Her little sister called from outside her door.

"SHUT UP, YOU BRAT!" Katie yelled. She shut her eyes forcefully.

'I wonder what would've happened if Kakuzu and I went…further…' She thought as she drifted off to sleep.

"_WHAT THE FUCK_!?!!?!?" She screamed at 2 in the morning. She had dreamed about Kakuzu and her. ….'Getting it on', as some would call it. Dear God, it was….downright disturbing.

"I hope that doesn't happen tomorrow…" She said quietly as she assumed her usual sleeping position, secretly hoping that it would.

Katie woke up facing the wall of her bedroom. She felt someone on the bed next to her.

"How many times have I told you, you stupid brat…STAY OUTTA MY RO-" She stopped in mid-sentence. Kakuzu was lying next to her on the bed. She turned crimson. She didn't bother putting on her pajama shirt last night because she had too many blankets on top of her. And it just her luck that he had the covers in his hands. Bitch. She covered up her chest, and searched for an appropriate sentence. But all that came out were the unconnected words,

"You…shirt…covers…bed…sheets…WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY BEDROOM?!?!" She finally settled on. Kakuzu chuckled as he threw her sheets on top of her head. The laughed turned into a rumble of laughter.

"The look on your face was priceless!" He choked out as he began to laugh.

"Jesus Christ, I think I'm gonna die!" He yelled as he fell off of the bed. He had his foot entangled in the sheets, so Katie came tumbling down with him. Like that old nursery rhyme. But Jill probably wasn't about to kill Jack. Big difference between the two.

"Well. I never thought _you'd _be the type of person to make a sexual advance on someone like _me_." He said as he smiled at her devilishly.

She was silent.

'SAY SOMETHING!' She thought frantically.

"…Just…go away so I can get dressed." She said as she looked at the ground.

Kakuzu thought for a second.

"Nah. I think I'll watch." He said as the smile got wider.

"But I have to take a shower!" She said. She didn't really, but at this point, she'd try anything to make him go downstairs.

Kakuzu picked her up bridal style, and brought her into the bathroom.

"What the hell are you doing?!" She yelled.

"You said you needed a shower. I'll help you get undressed."

"I SWEAR I'LL CALL THE FUCKING POLICE RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING BATHROOM, YOU FUCKING FUCK." She yelled.

"Wow. I never knew anyone but Hidan who could say 'fuck' more than five times in a sentence. Congratulations, you beat his record." Kakuzu said as he clapped his hands.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BATHROOM!" She yelled. She went to smack him across the face, but he grabbed her hand.

"What's wrong?" He asked as he set his hand at her waist.

"WHAT'S WRONG IS THAT YOU'RE IN MY FUCKING BATHROOM." She screeched.

"Stop yelling."

"No."

"You stopped yelling."

"Get out."

"Fine." He said as he walked outside.

Katie brought her knees to her chest and hugged them.

'I hope he's not mad at me…' She thought.

"Kakuzu…" She said worriedly as she walked out of the bathroom door. Kakuzu pounced on her as soon as she opened the door.

"I knew you'd need help." He whispered in her ear.

"UWAHHH?!?" She managed to yell.

He made a trail of kisses from her cheek to her collar bone.

"Kakuzu…stop…" She mumbled.

He looked at her.

"Get dressed, runt." He ordered.

"Whatever." She said. She walked to her room.

'I swear he's fucking bipolar or some shit.' She thought to herself.

He knocked on her door.

"What?"

"You better be wearing that gift, or I'll strip search you."

"You and what army?"

"The army of teenage hormones gone wild."

"So, what, am I supposed to be afraid here, or what?" She asked.

"Yes. I can tell you're shaking in your boots, right now."

"I'm not wearing boots."

"Slippers, then."

"Nope."

"Fine. You're skin. And you can't say you're not wearing skin, because then you'd be all...bloody." He said as he walked away from the door.

"What a wonderful use of vocabulary...." Katie said to herself as she walked into her bathroom.

"I want to see it before we leave." He said as she walked down the stairs.

"I knew you were gay from the very beginning. But sadly, I'm not a man. Go take that up with Hidan, you faggot."

"I meant the gift, stupid fuck."

"Why? I'm wearing it." She said.

"I don't believe you."

She sighed heavily, while Kakuzu smiled deviously.

"Go on, then."

She felt her face turn beet red as she slowly pulled down her skirt to reveal the "gift" that Kakuzu had set under her covers yesterday. She could charge him with sexual harassment, but she didn't really think of such a thing now.

"It's not so much a gift, though." She said as she pulled up her skirt.

"Yes, it is. I bought it for you. _My_ money was spent on that." He said angrily.

"But there's nothing to it!" She said as she took off her shirt as well.

"See?! You can see right through it!" She said persistently.

"Ooh, baby. Keep going, I'm not stopping you!" Kakuzu said as he whistled.

"…Shit!" She said to herself. She had exposed herself. To Kakuzu. While conscious. Oh fuck. There goes her day.

"Put your clothes back on. You can take 'em off when we get to my house." Kakuzu said as he walked towards the door.

"What if I can't wait until then?" She asked, trying to be sarcastic.

He turned around and smiled.

"Car sex. Take it or leave it."

"Ew, that's gross."

"So is your face."

She glared at him, square in the eyes. He glared right back. Isn't glaring almost like staring at someone, but like, with more of a venomous look in your eyes?

She tossed the thought aside, and followed him out to his car.

They walked out to the car, and got in. He didn't start the car right away.

"Is there something wrong with the car?" She asked as she turned to look at him.

"No."

"Then why don't you start the car?" She asked as she looked out the window.

He caught her face in his palms, and turned it towards his.

"I need to know something." He said sternly.

"I do too. Why the hell are you touching my fashce?" She asked as the last word was sort of mooshed together. It was supposed to be 'face'.

"Because I have to ask you something important." He said.

"I'm listening."

Instead of a smart-ass comeback like she was expecting, he asked something that was _exceptionally_ unlike him.

"Do you...love me?" He asked as he looked away slightly.

She felt her heart race. Would you call the feeling in her heart that she had for him 'love', or a crush? Or maybe some fucked up version of Stockholm Syndrome.

"Um...depends. Define love?" She asked with a sheepish smile crossing her face.

"Never mind. It was a stupid question." He said coldly as he turned back to the wheel.

'Great job, stupid ass. You should've told him how you felt! He looked like he really would've returned the feelings!' Her conscience/psycho voice in the back of her head screamed. You would call that little voice psycho, wouldn't you? Bah, it didn't matter now.

They drove along for a little while. Katie's house was a short drive away from Kakuzu's, since they almost lived in the same neighborhood, but not quite. He lived a little on the outside of town, while she practically lived in the Boonies.

"Hey. Stupid ass. Get outta my fucking car." Kakuzu commanded as he parked his car in front of his house.

"Don't tell me what to do!" She yelled.

"I'll tell you what to do, because it's my fucking car!"

"It's mine when we get married!" She yelled, not thinking before she spoke.

"Oh yes. Then I get your sweet ass." He said as he smiled.

She thought nothing of the comment Kakuzu had made. She countered it, though. With dialogue as her sword.  
"Oh, please. Why the hell would I ever marry you?" She said as she opened, got out, and slammed the car door.

She walked with her head held high, towards the front door of the home Kakuzu shared with his parents. He was planning on moving out after he graduated from high school, or somewhere in between that when he had enough money from his job he had.  
She walked into him.

"'S'cuse you." She said as she waited for him to move. He wouldn't even budge.  
"I said, 'S'CUSE YOU!" She yelled. She looked up at him.  
"What did you say to me before?" He asked, in barely a whisper.  
"What, you have short-term memory loss, or something?" She asked. He grabbed her hand, and squeezed it tightly.  
"I asked you a question."  
"OW! I said why the hell would I ever marry you? Now leggo! I need that hand!"  
"I have the answer to your question." He said as he pinned her against the hood of the car.  
"H-hey...Get offa me, Kakuzu. This isn't funny!" She said, a little panicky.  
"Ask what the answer is." He whispered at a medium volume to her, as he neared her ear.  
"Go on. Ask." He breathed into her ear.  
"...What's the answer...?" She asked reluctantly.

He pulled away from her with a small smirk. The smirk grew into a smile, and then a menacing grin. He began to laugh, as though someone had just delivered the long-awaited punch line to a joke that had gone on too long.

"A SHOT GUN WEDDING!" He yelled at the sky.  
"A SHOT GUN WEDDING!" He repeated. Katie looked at him. Was there a joke that she'd missed?  
"What the hell...?" She asked as she backed away.  
He looked back down at her.  
"Did I scare you?" He asked.  
"......I won't answer that."  
"Ah ha, I did then." He sang triumphantly as he waltzed to the front porch.  
"Are you coming in, or are you staying out here?" He asked with a tinge of impatience in his tone.  
She nodded, and followed, not saying a word.

She walked into the house, and wasn't disappointed. She had been to Kakuzu's house before, but since an "incident" happened previously here, (_someone_ tripped and spilled their hot chocolate all over the new rug his parents had gotten) she was banned for a "lifetime". Apparently, a lifetime was over.

'Wait, if a lifetime is over, does that mean that I died?!' She though to herself.

".....this time?" Someone said. It sounded distant.

"Ummm..." She managed to say as she came back to reality.

"God, what are you, deaf?!" Kakuzu yelled.  
"I said, 'are you gonna spill stuff on the carpet this time?!" Kakuzu bellowed.

Katie drew back sheepishly. She hadn't realized it, but she had sat down as her mind was wandering about. She was didn't realize that she was sitting in Kakuzu's favorite chair, either.

"Get outta my chair." He commanded. She looked at him, and smiled.  
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know this chair had _your name on it_." She emphasized the last few words of the sentence.  
"My house, my rules. Now, get the fuck outta my chair." He growled. She flinched as it looked like Kakuzu was about to hit her, but he didn't; instead, he picked her up, and sat down with her in his arms.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" She yelled.

"I'm sitting." He stated simply. He smiled at her before saying,

"Oh, while you're on my lap, could you do me a favor?"

"...What is it?" She asked timidly.

"Gimme a lap dance." He commanded, as he sat her up as if he was the chair.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"MY HOUSE, MY RULES, I COMMAND YOU."

"WHO ARE YOU, JESUS NOW, OR SOMETHIN'?!"

"OHHHH, YESSS. DO IT, BITCH. DO IT."

She was silent. She thought about what she would do next. She smiled as her plan was completely formulated inside of her mind.

She stripped off her shirt, as well as her skirt. She turned so that she was facing his face.  
She moved in so that her face was only centimeters apart from his. He attempted to kiss her, but she pulled away, straddling his legs. Her hair was in her face, so she tossed it backwards with her hands, making sure it fell on to her shoulders. What happened next was not part of the plan at all, but Katie acting on her own.

She brushed her hips against his, and forced his hands to the side of the chair.

"Keep 'em there, bitch." She growled.

She looked him in the eyes, and flashed him the most dazzling smile she could muster as she brushed her hand across his cheek, tenderly and lightly, as if his face would shatter at her touch. She felt him shiver, and she laughed a bit. She let her hands roam his body, stopping at his neck, chest, and crotch. She felt like she could explode with laughter. She leaned into his neck, and pressed her face against it. She let out a small moan, almost a whisper type of thing. She grabbed his crotch, and he gasped. She brought her face to his, and kissed him. His arms flew from the chair arms to the back of her head, and pressed against them with the utmost pressure. She needed to breathe.

She pulled away, and coughed. Her thoughts were cloudy. He turned her head so that her head was painfully facing his.

"Do you want me?" He breathed into her ear. Her eyes widened. It felt as if time had frozen when he had inquired about this.

"...I...I...I..." She stuttered. She didn't know if she should do this kind of thing. She tried to give an answer, but no sound escaped her mouth.

"I can't." She said. He looked at her.

"Why?" He whispered.

"I don't know what to do..." She said as she avoided his gaze. He laughed a bit.

"You're still a virgin?" She shot her gaze right back to his face, anger chiseled into hers.

"Yes."

He nuzzled her neck.

"Am I allowed to break you?" He asked as he got up and sat her on the chair, and straddled her legs.

Her thoughts raced. If she said no, he'd probably leak the secret about her still being a virgin to practically _everyone_. If she said yes, with her luck she'd probably get AIDS or some fucked up STD.

She took a breath, and looked him in the eyes.

YESSSSS, CLIFF HANGER, I'M SORRY. :| I'm feeling suspenseful today. Sorry D:

I hope you liked it! I promise I'll get writing right away!

_Many thanks to: XWeirdLover23X, Lady Malignant, Tally Mai-chan, Nisroc, Techno Tobi, Siyui no Akatsuki, cheeky half-demon, xXxCici-chanxXxDei-kunxXx, and Someonewhoreadsrandomstuff for reviewing!! I really appreciate it! I'm sorry if my style drastically changed. _


	7. Chapter 7

IT'S BEEN ALMOST A YEAR SINCE I LAST UPDATED THIS? WTF. :\ xDD

My style has changed, drastically, if I do say so myself. :O

So I hope it's not _too_ much of a transition for you guys to adjust to.

Disclaimer: I own not Naruto, Kakuzu or Hidan. BAH HUM BUG.

**Chapter Seven: The Perplexed Beast.**

'_You make me question reality when I'm with you_.'

She felt like she was going to vomit from anticipation. The funny thing was? She was the one that was supposed to answer the question.

"Well?" He purred as he nipped her ear.

Her body was as tight as a bow string.

She made an incoherent sound, as his fingers traced the contours of her body, down to the elastic waist band of her panties.

'Give in. You _KNOW_ you want to…it's what you were put on this earth for; baby makin' an' fornicatin'.'

'No, don't do it! Never give in to the temptation of sex! _Never ever_!'

She didn't know which voice in her head made the most sense: the abstinence fanatic or the nympho.

Kakuzu's other hand snaked up to her chest, and caressed her breast. She shuddered.

"You won't feel a thing; I promise. Besides, I know how to do this; I'm _experienced_." He whispered, a smile sneaking across his lips.

'Experienced'.

This word echoed in her head for about a minute or two as they were at a stand still. It made her feel almost like another notch in the belt. Just another naïve virgin taken advantage of; routine procedure; same thing as always; nothing special. She didn't know if she should let her curiosity get the better of her when he kissed her on the lips.

Then she lost it; she threw her arms around him. He smiled, nipped her collarbone once.

She inhaled sharply, but smiled.

'_This is want you want_.'

…It _was_ what she wanted, wasn't it? Awesome. Now she was second-guessing herself. That's always fun. Her thoughts were jumbled.

"I'm…sorry." She whispered solemnly. Kakuzu looked at her like she just grew an extra set of eyes.

"Why…?" He quirked his brow.

She shoved him off of her, gathered up her clothes, threw them on in a jiffy, and rushed out the door. _Same thing as always_.

"God _**DAMMIT**_!" He yelled. He stood up and thrust his tightly clenched fist into the wall.

His chest felt like it was about to burst; he was clenching his teeth so tight, they started to hurt.

'She's just another _girl_. Get over yourself. There's plenty other ones, for fuck's sake! Hell, you can take your pick!'

He paced the floor, and ran his fingers continuously through his hair, deep in thought.

* * *

Katie ran down the road; she wasn't running to her house. She didn't know where she was going, to be quite honest. She just wanted to escape.

'I can feel the pressure of modern times, now.' She thought.

'I never knew boys could be such a difficult subject matter.'

She couldn't think; she just kept replaying what had happened, over and over again.

She had him _right_ _where_ _she wanted him_, and she threw the opportunity that was given to her away.

Before she could think of anything else, she hit a tree. And fell down. And started crying. Not just because her head hurt because she ran into a tree, but because of what had happened.

When she had returned home, after swallowing multiple ibuprofen tablets, Katie had gone straight to her room, and lay on her bed, and thought.

'…Tomorrow. Tomorrow will be awkward, to say the least.'

She hit her head on the wall. On purpose.

* * *

Kakuzu sat in his room for the remainder of the day and proceeded to assassinate artificial life forms. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. A text message read:

'Violence is never the answer. :'('

It was from Hidan.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes at the irony.

'I don't see how what I am doing is violent,' he replied.

The response:

'You are killing people on your video game. :'-('

He shook his head.

'Okay so you creep on me now?' He hit the send button.

'Yes. I'm done with my homework, and mommy said I could as long as I'm home by eight. :-)'

Kakuzu went back to his video games.

"Creep," was all he muttered as he put his phone away.

* * *

'Joy, Monday,' Katie thought as she rolled out of bed, the usual 10 minutes late.

She ran a comb through her hair; put on her clothes; and went down the stairs to the kitchen. She sat at the table, in a daze.

Her sister snapped her fingers in front of her face, and Katie jumped.

"HEY. You're sitting on Shelly."

Katie was, in face, sitting on her younger sister's stuffed turtle, who she called Shelly.

"Tell Shelly to suck it."

"Shelly says she likes boys, but she accepts that you feel that way about her."

Katie shot her younger sister a vicious look, and walked out the door, grabbing her school bag.

She waited outside for her bus.

It arrived. She got on the bus. She sat down, and stared out the window, a blank expression overtaking her face.

* * *

Kakuzu had woken up, brushed his hair and threw on some clothes. He went down the stairs, put on his shoes, grabbed his car keys, and was out the door, into his car.

* * *

Hidan waited impatiently for Katie to arrive at her locker.

When she did, he almost jumped her.

"HOW WAS _YOUR_ WEEKEND~?"

"You smell like beer."

"It's called _breakfast_, silly little girlllll."

She scoffed at him.

"SOOOOOOO~, Did you have fun with Kakuuuuzu yesterdaaay~?" He said with a wink.

She felt her heart sink a little.

"I don't want to talk about it." She said as she retrieved her books quickly, and slammed her locker door.

Hidan didn't know what to make of this; but he was drunk off his ass, so there really wasn't anything he _could_ think about and/or take seriously.

He and Katie didn't talk much; only a brief farewell when departing for their homerooms.

* * *

Kakuzu walked through the doors just as the bell rang.

'This is going to be an interesting day,' he thought as he rolled his eyes at the thought.

He didn't bother going to his locker; he had everything he needed. He trudged into the boys' bathroom, and pulled out a cigarette from his backpack, and lit it. He recalled all of the events that occurred the previous afternoon, and took a deep, long drag.

The bell for first period rang, and he tossed it into a sink.

He had science. With Katie. Who he sat next to.

What a joy.

* * *

The two of them sat next to each other, and didn't look at one another.

Class began.

The teacher scribbled on the board, and began to speak.

Katie ripped out a sheet of notebook paper, and wrote in scrawled, sloppy letters:

'I'm sorry about yesterday.'

and passed it reluctantly to Kakuzu.

He looked at it and narrowed his eyes. He moved his pen with precision and grace across the surface of the paper:

'Why did you lead me on?'

She saw it, and responded,

'I wasn't thinking. I thought I wanted to, but I didn't.'

He simply wrote,

'Oh.'

She skipped a few lines, and wrote delicately,

'I thought that I would die because my heart hurt so much.'

He saw this and sighed heavily.

'Why.'

She wrote in small letters,

'Because I think I love you.'

His eyes shot open and looked at her with an awed expression. He tried not to laugh as he wrote,

'I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.'

She pinched his arm.

"I'm KIDDING! Goddamn, you're so uptight." He whispered.

"You need to loosen up." He said as he moved her chair closer to his.

"And you need a life." She retaliated.

"Really." He asked as he looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah."

"I've got one, thank you."

"Playing video games for 5 hours straight isn't a life."

"Well it's better than daydreaming about _me_ everyday. Then again…both seem pretty satisfying, not that I compare the two…" He held his hands out, as if he was weighing the two subjects.

She felt her face get red out of frustration, and she shoved him off of his chair.

The class looked at him, and at Katie.

"….I TOLD HIM A SILLY JOKE AND HE FELL OFF HIS CHAIR." She announced. Everyone looked at her funny, but turned around after a couple seconds.

He sat back down, and took the notes.

"Smooth," he mumbled.  
She smiled, and bent her head over the book.

Although she felt awkward sitting next to him, she felt like it was right. Maybe, something would come out of this, like a blossoming relationship between the two of them.

Or so she _thought_.

* * *

_The following awesome organisms are as follows: XWeirdLover23X, Lady Malignant, Tally Mai-chan, Nisroc, TechnoTobi, Siyui No Akatsuki, cheeky half-demon, xXxCici-chanxXxDei-kunxXx, Someonewhoreadsrandomstuff, WolvesKey, AvenueQphan, and AntiKakuHidaPerson. I'm glad you like my story so much. You make me happy. 3I love you guys. Until next time, stay sexy. :)_


	8. Chapter 8

I still can't believe I wrote this chapter in less than a month. I'm so proud of myself. :)

I'm really hoping my style doesn't seem different to you guys as you read this.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Kakuzu, or Hidan.

**Chapter Eight: The Vexed Beast.**

'_At sometimes in our lives, a devil dwells within us. It causes heartbreaks, confusions and troubles, and then it dies_.'

* * *

Katie sat in class smiling, daydreaming. Kakuzu glanced at her.

'She looks like such a ding dong, staring off into space like that.'

He was 95 percent focused on what the teacher was saying. He scribbled down almost every word the teacher spoke.

"And that about sums up the process of mitosis. Any questions?" A few students raised their hands, while the majority of the class looked at the teacher like their brains went to mush. Which was more than likely.

"Good! Time for a pop quiz, kiddies." The teacher said, a smile creeping over his face. Everyone groaned. The papers were passed out. Kakuzu passed one to Katie. She snapped out of the trance she was in, and looked at him, the quiz, then him again. She was utterly horrified.

"WHAT IS THIS?"  
"...Mitosis. I take it you weren't paying attention?"

"...Possibly."

"Thought so." He said almost immediately after she answered. It was like a reflex to one of the many vague answers she gave.

"Wanna help me?" She smiled sweetly.

"No." Reflex answer _and_ rejected? Ouchh.

"You _so_ do. I know you do."

"Like _hell_ I do." His eyes narrowed.

"PLEASEEEEEE." A desperate, hopeless look crossed her face. And it _seriously_ wasn't attractive.

"And get a zero for cheating? I'll pass."  
"It's not cheating. It's teamwork!" She insisted.

"Uh huh. Yeah, okay. Go teamwork off of someone else's paper, dumbass." She frowned, and looked down at her paper. She took a deep breath, and bullshitted the whole thing. She handed her paper in, and trudged back to her desk.

"I'm proud of you for not cheating." She looked at him.

"_Really_?"

He nodded, and she smiled.

The bell rang, and everyone stampeded out of the classroom. The both of them left last, together, and walked with each other to their classes. They said nothing.

* * *

"Won't you be late for your next class?" She asked. He laughed sarcastically.

"I don't give a fuck. I need a smoke, anyways."

"That stuff can give you cancer."

"I know."

"...Well then why do you still use it?"

"Because I'm older than you, and taller than you, pipsqueak." She rolled her eyes. They stood outside of Katie's next class, a few feet away from the door.

"Speed typing? Don't your fingers hurt after all the shit you do in there?" He grabbed one of her hands, and felt the tips of her fingers.

"...I'M IN THE ROOM NEXT TO THAT, GENIUS." She pointed at the room that said, 'Photography Lab'.

"Photography? Hmm... Maybe we could do some _projects_ together." Suggestive voice is suggestive.

"Like what?" She asked, quirking her brow.

"...Oh wait, never mind. I'm pretty sure the school would be kind of mad if you brought in nakeys of us both...but I _could_ be wrong."

"I'M LEAVING." She turned around. He slapped her backside. She turned around again, facing him. Her face was almost tomato red. She held her books with one arm.

"You want a kiss, too?" He smirked. He bent his knees so that he was almost level with her. A loud 'smack' echoed through the hall. She turned around and stormed into her class.

"Kiss my ass, dickface.' She yelled.

The late bell rang. The mark her hand had left burned his face. Or maybe that was just his embarrassment showing.

"Stupid ho." He mumbled as he pulled out his pack of cigarettes as he ventured into the boy's bathroom.

* * *

She exited her class, saying 'goodbye' to her friends. She looked ahead, and he was there.

"Oh. _Hi_." She said, scowling. He smiled at her.

"I can tell you missed me."

"_Not really_..."

"So you don't _want_ me here?" He asked accusingly.

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"Oh, okay. I'll leave then. But then you won't be able to answer the question I was about to ask you..." He trailed off. All of a sudden, she didn't want to punch him in the face because of how smug he was acting before.

"_What question_?" She asked. It was a little _too_ obvious that she was fairly curious about his inquiry.

Hook line, and sinker. He smiled devilishly.

"Oh, it's nothing..." He said nonchalantly.

"It's _something _if you wanted to tell me. Now what did you want to ask?" She persisted.

"Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to, oh I don't know; hang out at my house after school today, maybe?" She waited, but she knew her answer.

"Sure." He smiled at her.

"Good answer. I'll drive you to my house, and we can do homework."

"_**Do homework**_? Is _that_ what the kids are callin' it these days?" She asked, equally alarmed as she was concerned.

"...Calling _what_."

"...Doing homework."

"Which is supposed to mean...?"

"Increasing population."

"Oh dear God. I MEANT WE'LL ACTUALLY BE DOING HOMEWORK, NOT FORNICATING, YOU NINNY. Besides, you'd ugly up my gene pool." He said.

"Oh, I'm _so_ sure." She said as she slapped him.

* * *

It was last period.

"Wanna skip your study hall with me?" He asked casually. She was silent, contemplating the answer she would give. She would just be sitting doing nothing for an hour and 20 minutes. Ahh, what the hell. You only live once, right? She reached a decision.

"I need to get my stuff from my locker. Will you come with me?"

He smiled, triumphantly.

"Of course, mademoiselle."

"Ooh, you're speaking Spanish? That's attractive."

"...Wow, that was French. Are you _stupid_?"

"...I knew that was French."

"Uh huh, sure. Just like you know how easy it is for me to make a 'that's what she said' joke out of just about everything you say."

"It's not _that_ easy, is it?"

"_That's what she said_."

"UGH. I hate you." She stormed down the hallway. He had no control of the laughter that erupted from him. He steadied himself against a locker, and began walking after her.

* * *

They were walking to his car, quickly looking around to see if school security would be creeping around like...creeps.  
They didn't see any security officers, but they still hustled to get to his car. He opened the door, they got in.

He started the car, and pulled out of the school's parking lot. She went to turn on the radio, and he slapped her hand away from the 'On' button.

"Don't touch that, you filthy slut."

"_Excuse you_?"

"You heard me."

"Why can't I touch it?"

He turned to look at her, a mischievous smile crossing his face.

She quirked an eyebrow, as she was confused.

"_That _is what she said."

She rolled her eyes, and crossed her arms across her chest.

"But seriously, why can't I put the radio on?"

"You'd give it herpes." He stated simply.

"_**WHAT**_?" She yelled, flustered.

"You heard me, ho."

"Stop calling me a ho."

"Sorry. You heard me, gardening tool."

"Oh wow. Seventh grade much?" She rolled her eyes. He just laughed.

* * *

They got to his house.

"Home sweet home!" Katie said as she got out of the car.

"Not for _you_." Kakuzu scoffed.

She winked and smiled flirtatiously at him.

"At least not _yet_, right?"

"What are you saying?" He asked, narrowing his eyes. She walked to the front door.

"Oh my God, just open the fucking door."

"THERE WILL BE NO SUCH TALK AS THAT IN THIS HOUSE. FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL RESULT IN A SEVERE LASHING WITH A WET NOODLE." He proclaimed.

She was left utterly speechless from his outburst.

"...Did you inhale carbon monoxide from the exhaust pipe or something?"

"Just a bit."

"It definitely just demonstrated its debilitating effects on the human brain...' She thought as they walked inside.

"Make something to eat if you want. I'll be in my room." He said as he ascended the staircase.

She only heard 'make something to eat', after that she bolted into the kitchen.

"AND MAKE ME A SANDWICH." He called from the top of the stairs.

"Oh, fuck you." She said quietly to herself.

* * *

After she'd eaten, Katie went upstairs, schoolbag with books in tow. She reached the top of the stairs, and looked around. There were two hallways that looked about equal in length. She didn't know which room was Kakuzu's. She didn't want to open up a door to see people having sex, because that's just... awkward.

She knocked on a door. No answer. She was exhausted already.

"This is _ridiculous_!"

She heard a door open behind her. She turned around, and Kakuzu was sprawled across the floor.

"Where's my sandwich, wench." He demanded.

"Make your own damn sandwich."

"I _refuse_." He insisted.

"Oh. That's too bad, then." She stepped on his stomach as she entered his room. He bellowed in pain.

"Oops." She said as she sat down on his bed.

"Oops my ass." He grumbled. He joined her, sitting his school books next to himself. He looked at her.

"Was there anything you needed help with?"

"Not really."

"'Kay." And on that note, he opened one of his massive textbooks, and began to copy problems down. She sat there, just staring at him.

After about ten minutes, he looked up.

"Is there a problem?" He asked. He sounded a bit agitated, but he was always bitchy, so you could never tell when he was genuinely angry until he started flipping out.

"No...?"

"Okay. Good." He went back to work.

She sighed heavily. She picked up her economics book, and began to read. She read about the business cycle, which bored her to tears. Everything seemed to slow down.

She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, but didn't go to sleep.

He looked and he saw her face on his shoulder. His first impulse was to say, 'ew', but he thought she looked...cute. He smiled a little. She stirred, but he kept his gaze on her, and his smile was kept intact.

She looked up at him, and he rested his head on top of hers. Her face felt a little warm. He pushed his homework off to the side, and put his arm around her. He leaned backwards against the wall.

"You looked cute when you were asleep." He said in a low voice as he kissed her hair.

"So I don't look cute now?" They smiled at each other.

"You do, but you looked _exceptionally_ cute when you were asleep."

"Oh...then should I go back to sleep?"

"Nah. Stay awake. It's not as creepy if I talk to you."

She giggled. He pulled her closer, and pecked her on the cheek. She felt happy, but so confused at the same time; she could practically burst out in tears.

She buried her head in his neck. He wrapped both of his arms around her, and let himself fall sideways on to his bed; she fell with him.

She gave him an annoyed look.

"What?" He laughed. She sighed.

"Never mind." She rested her head on his.

He kissed her on the lips. Just a quick peck was all. She mimicked his gesture. He rolled on to the floor; she followed suit. They both started laughing. After a couple minutes, they just lay there, holding each other.

She liked this... but she needed to ask him something important.

"Kakuzu..." She started.

"Hmm?" He was twirling a lock of her hair.

"...You remember that note?"

"You gave it to me today. Of course I remember it."

"Well...do you feel the same way about me?"

He was silent.

She sat up, waiting for his answer. He just stared blankly at the ceiling. They sat in dead silence. She wanted an answer.

"Well...?" She asked.

"I don't know." He said. There was no feeling in his tone of voice. It sounded so stern, so final. She felt her heart pound.

"Well tell me when you _do_ know, because I'm not waiting around till you figure it out!" She yelled. She got up, and left the room with her schoolbag. She slammed the front door as she left his house, and her feet hit the pavement heavily as she plodded along.

She wasn't crying.

She was going home. The sooner she got there, the better.

* * *

Kakuzu had been sitting up since she exited his room. He replayed what had just happened. He thought about the exchange of words, particularly his answer (or lack thereof...)

Facepalm.

He needed advice. Or at lest someone to talk to.

So he called Hidan.

Hopefully, he wasn't plastered off his ass. So he called him.

"Yelloww~?" Oops. Guess he was plastered. ...But what the hell.

"Are you drunk?"

"Me? _Intoxicated_? That's preposterous."

Guess he was sober if he used four and five syllable words in two sentences.

"Come over. I need to talk to you."

"'Kay. But what if I hit someone on the way there? Won't I get arrested?"

"Not if they die."

"'Kay, I'll try not to hit anyone. Unless it's that fucking faggot from our calculus class...I'll make sure his ass gets fucked up _real_ good." He said maliciously.

"That sounded gay."

"I'm not gay."

"You sure?"

"99 percent."

"So the other one percent means that you're gay."

"Only on Tuesdays."

Kakuzu hung up.

"Are you mad 'cause it's only a Monday? Oh wait, you hung up."

* * *

The doorbell rang. Kakuzu was still up in his room.

"Just a minute..."

"JUST A MINUTE MY ASS. GET YOUR LAZY TUSH DOWN HERE _RIGHT_ NOW, AND OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, DICK FUCK. OR SO HELP ME GOFD, I'LL BREAK DOWN THE DAMN THING."

Dick fuck? That was a new one.

Kakuzu trudged down the steps. He reached for the doorknob, but decided he'd rattle Hidan's cage _once_ more before he came in.

"What's the password?" He rasped.

"Hey stupid fuck. Open the door."

He opened it, and sure enough, there was Hidan in all his 100 percent heterosexuality, radiating frustration.

He walked in, threw himself on the sofa, and took up all the sitting space. Hidan got straight to the point.

"So talk to me. You sounded serious."

"Well, Katie and I skipped last period after school today to come-"

"NO FUCKIN' WAY. YOU GOT HER TO SKIP? You, my friend, are a fucking _god_." He had interjected.

"_Anyway_... we came here and went up into my room. We basically just laid there and rolled around, and she just fuckin' _freaks_. She runs out the door, all because I didn't answer a Goddamn question."

"What question." Hidan demanded.

"If I liked her or not."

"What'd you say."

"That I didn't know."

Hidan turned and looked at him with such intensity; the look faded into a hopeless expression, which matched the statement that followed it:

"Way to go, douche bag."

Kakuzu just hid his face in his hands.

"Well how did you feel when she just ran out the door?"

"Upset!"

"Well, then why didn't you stop her?" Hidan inquired. Kakuzu thought.

"...I don't know."

"How'd you feel when she asked you if you liked her?"

"Kind of happy, but at the same time I didn't want to answer her."

"_Why_?"

"Because I like her, but I don't."

"That makes no sense. _Explain_."

Kakuzu took a deep breath, and exhaled, slowly.

"I like her. At the same time, I just don't feel like being with her like that, I guess."

"But you like _her_... and she likes _you_?"

Kakuzu looked at Hidan and nodded slowly, as if he was trying to convince himself as well.

"Well, then what's the problem?"

"I don't want to have a relation ship like that." Kakuzu said with clenched teeth.

"Well then, why can't you be fuck buddies?"

"Because she doesn't want to fuck me."

"...Fuck buddies without fucking?" Hidan's tone was reluctant.

"Is that even possible?" He asked.

Hidan shrugged.

"Either way, I don't wanna get cockblocked every time I make a pass at her, or if things get...heated."

"Don't go past third base, then."

"You make it sound so simple."

Silence. And then...

"ASK HER." Hidan yelled.

"No."

"DO IT, FAGGOT. YOU GOT THE ROCKS."

"I'll give you rocks...right in the ass." He growled.

"THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION." Hidan exclaimed as he stood up suddenly.

"...What."

"We're drinking. All night."

"Isn't your liver damaged _enough_ from all of your drinking?"

"Nonsense!" Hidan called from the kitchen.

"Only peasants need livers! I am a _king_!"

Kakuzu laughed sarcastically, and turned the television on.

* * *

When Katie had gotten home, she went straight to her room. Then she realized she left her books at Kakuzu's house. She'd have to go back and get them.

Fuck.

She checked her phone. No messages. Well, from _him_, at least.

Fuck him.

She sat and thought. She replayed her day, from beginning to now.

"_**Shit**_." She said aloud.

She skipped class. With Kakuzu. She'd get a detention for that, possibly grounded. Knowing her luck, she'd probably get detention the same day as him.

Fuck him sideways.

She decided she wouldn't ask him again tomorrow; she'd simply just forget about the entire ordeal.

She would act as if nothing had happened between them earlier.

* * *

After two or three hours, both Hidan and Kakuzu were in drunken stupors.

"So, how're 'ya gonna ask her?"

"I'll...I'll ask her, and...and I'll say, 'Let's take this to the next level.'"

"When, when!"

"_Tomorrow_, in science class. I'll say, 'Baby, you and me got chemistry, like this class. Now let's experiment.'"

"Faggot. 'Ya sound twice as gay as I do!"

"I'm willing to take that chance, good sir."

"WHERE'S ALL MY RUM. GET ME MORE RUM." And after that outburst, Hidan was out cold.

Kakuzu sat in a chair, thinking of how he would execute his plan.

* * *

_Thank you for reading and reviewing! That's right. I'm talking to you: XWeirdLover23X, Lady Malignant, Tally Mai-chan, Nisroc, TechnoTobi, Siyui No Akatsuki, cheeky half-demon, xXxCici-chanxXxDei-kunxXx, someonewhoreadsrandomstuff, WolvesKey, AvenueQPhan, AwesomelyAnonymous, and AntiKakuHidaPerson. You keep me going. :) I hope you like this chapter as much as you've liked the others!_

**(A.N.: By the way, what Hidan says before he passes out at the end was a reference to Pirates of the Caribbean. Just thought I'd say.)**


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